I Heart My Little A-holes

I Heart My Little A-holes

A Bunch of Holy-crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting

Book - 2014
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.

Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole.

When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing.

In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Publisher: New York : William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, [2014]
Edition: First Edition.
ISBN: 9780062341624
Characteristics: xiii, 287 pages : illustrations ; 20 cm


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NicoleAgar Jun 13, 2017

LAUGH OUT LOUD!!! So funny, so real!!!!

Feb 12, 2017

There is LOL and then there is LAUGH. OUT. LOUD.! I have never laughed out loud so much in a book! Found it hilarious! Just loved the whole way she wrote it. to rate it out of five stars I give it double 5 !

FSJPL_Amy Jun 28, 2016

I loved some parts of this book and was indifferent to other parts. There were parts I laughed out loud at, parts that made me feel I was not alone in some of my feelings about the not-so-sunshiny aspects of motherhood. There were other parts where I disagreed with her take or just didn't find as funny as she did. It was definitely a fun read, and worth picking up if only to flip though for a few laughs.

Apr 28, 2015

A very honest look at motherhood.

Nov 27, 2014

I agree with the other comment. I was honestly thought this book was going to be hilarious. read the first few pages and didn't pick it up again.

ksoles May 16, 2014

When I picked up Karen Alpert's book at the library and flipped through the contents, I thought: I'll either find this hilarious or obnoxiously offensive. Unfortunately...

If you appreciate crass, expletive-filled, snarky comments on bodily functions, you'll probably get a kick out of "I Heart My Little A-Holes." If you enjoy bombardment from vulgar descriptions of poop and vomit and endless derogatory comments about parents and children, you may appreciate Alpert's meanderings. Otherwise, expect to get a few chuckles out of the first 20 pages, then toss the book aside in disgust.

The author claims to love her kids to pieces but she (only semi-wittily) complains about virtually every aspect of parenting. She discusses unnecessary baby gear, taking two young children to a public washroom (when "you thought keeping one kid's hands out of the frigging tampon trash can in the public restroom sucked") and dealing with other moms (“I’m sick of moms trying to make other moms feel like shit….Moms bragging. Moms being all Judgy McJudgy. Moms giving other moms assholey looks”).

Though I can admit to dropping the occasional f-bomb in my 3.5 year old son's presence, Alpert's sarcastic and excessive use of the word quickly becomes irritating. Her descriptions of messy diapers are simply gross and a series of chapters with titles like, “Allllllll the ways my body is different (i.e., sucks balls) after carrying two poop machines” and “An open letter to my vajayjay” incites cringes.

An over-the-top, scattered and tiresome attempt at parenting humor.


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